2 reviews of "The Biggest Job"

This book paints an appealing image of an enlightened high school that involves the whole family in developing positive character traits. We do not doubt the authors' sincerity, genuine enthusiasm for, and commitment to the Hyde Schools. Clearly, these authors are eager to spread the good word. However, our actual experience as parents of a Hyde School (in Woodstock, Conn.) student showed us that the practices and policies used to teach "character" often, paradoxically, violate the noble principles articulated in this book and espoused at the school. In our view, it is ironic that a school whose mission is character education is misrepresented in this book, which provides a misleading, partial picture of the Hyde we experienced. Also, it's unfortunate that this book on education, written by educators, does not explicitly refer to the research and theoretical literature on effective behavior management, adolescent development, and education; much of this literature questions methods we saw used at Hyde.

This book does not sufficiently acknowledge that the vast majority of the students enrolled at Hyde have been, in the words of senior administrators who spoke at meetings we attended there, "deported" by parents no longer able to contain their teens at home; these parents hoped Hyde would "fix" the child, "turn the child around." In our opinion, this lack of transparency contradicts the book's stance that honesty and integrity matter.

Further, the book does not accurately describe Hyde's student body. The Hyde student body is not composed solely of willfully disobedient teens who simply need to "shape up" and toe the line. We encountered a significant number of vulnerable teens at Hyde with documented mental health diagnoses that we think the school is not equipped to address; other than a nurse whose job is to dispense medications, there were no trained, licensed professional mental health staff. The authors should be more forthcoming that at Hyde, bona fide mental health struggles are typically viewed as intentional misbehavior, not as legitimate medical issues requiring special care. A youngster with a mental health diagnosis may be struggling with more than just "character flaws" (although we agree with the Hyde perspective presented by the authors that character issues must be addressed as well - a mental health diagnosis does not excuse a teen's conscious choice to behave obnoxiously or break the rules).

Paradoxically, while the book says the school involves parents in the character education process, in our experience at the school parents are often deliberately kept out of the loop. When parents question the school's approach, they are accused of not "buying into the Hyde process," and this in itself is defined as a character flaw; a parent's question is not treated as a legitimate concern worthy of discussion. Alternative perspectives are not tolerated well; in our view, it's ironic that a book that espouses the values of "respect," "integrity," "concern," "conscience," "truth over harmony," and "courage" directly champions a school that often maligns the character and motivations of those who articulate points of view that differ from Hyde's party line.

The authors also emphasize the importance of parents' willingness to participate in family education and seminars. This is an admirable goal. However, the book's portrait of family events differs markedly from the ones we experienced. Mandatory family seminars we attended at the school required, in our view, inappropriate self-disclosures, poor boundaries, and destructive interpersonal behaviors among students, staff, and parents. We witnessed a number of disturbing interactions between staff and families (including students) in which staff made liberal use of shame, blame, intimidation, name calling, demeaning comments, scorn, and humiliation, all in the name of "character education." We would have preferred a more candid report in the book about the tactics and behaviors used by some of Hyde's personnel.

Our concern is that this book by Hyde personnel camouflages and misrepresents what actually goes on at the school (we recognize that there are Hyde families who love the school and feel helped by Hyde's aggressively confrontational, directive, doctrinaire approach). While we do not impugn the authors' character or motives, the book provides only a partial view of the Hyde we experienced.

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As the sibling of a former alum, I can safely say that the dogmatism of its philosophy has caused permanent damage to my family. The values themselves are fine but generic - truth, courage, etc, are basically copy-pasted from AA, where the school gets its inspiration. The problem is not in the values, but that they are applied in a dogmatic and controlling way that leaves lasting scars. My sister and most of her high school friends graduated twenty years ago and continue to struggle with the same mental health issues as they did when they were enrolled - bipolar, addiction, alcoholism, etc. Not only did the school not address their underlying issues, but now there is an added layer of crippling anxiety and perfectionism of not being okay with who they are or who anyone else is. These students find it challenging to absorb the inherent tension in human relationships and to navigate the world without an intense structure being imposed onto them.

I can see why a certain type of parent might like the program - it encourages an authoritarian, disciplinarian approach and couches it in self-help terms. This gives inner peace and calm to a parent who lacks the true leadership necessary to deal with ambiguity, and would prefer a my way or the highway approach. While my sister was enrolled in the program, our house was like an asylum, but my parents were very happy.